Try saying that three times fast. The title, I mean. It’s a lot harder than it looks. Taking the time to really punch out the Ps is not popular with the mouth’s ability to pronounce. Anyway, I could probably proceed for the rest of this post using mostly Ps, and I wouldn’t even be practicing it on purpose- Apparently I need something to cleanse the palate…

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Okay, so, have you received a care package in the mail? If you are like most people than you probably have, and if you aren’t than I would like to apologize in advance. Now, getting into specifics. Have you ever received a care package that was improperly packaged? This would typically involve opening the box and seeing that everything was in its original state, with nothing segregated. Why should this matter? When dealing with edible and inedible products this matters very much. Following is a list of helpful tips for sending off care packages that can be received and taken full advantage with the full effect. In short: the package deal.

• First, get yours hands on some plastic shipping bags. I don’t care if it’s a leftover grocery bag, or a sandwich baggie. Any bag becomes part of the plastic shipping bags family when it comes time to send off a care package.
• Separate food items from non-food items, and completely wrap both parties. In the military, it was common for entire care packages to be thrown out simply because the generous senders had neglected to extra-wrap the soap. It doesn’t matter if a bar of soap comes wrapped in paper, and a candy-bar comes in plastic. If you don’t create even more of a barrier (hint hint, plastic shipping bags) that candy bar is going to taste like Zest. And that sucks. It sucks enough being on a deployment. Trying to eat a Snickers that tastes like the shower just adds insult to injury.
• It goes without saying that plastic shipping bags could relieve most of the heartache that comes with a leaky product, and yet so many people fail to follow this simple step. Altitude changes will cause bottles to burst, and for whatever reason batteries often decide to release their hazardous fluids. Wrapping items appropriately can save the cookies from getting a bath, or the mustache socks from deteriorating in acid.