Random fact of the day: jellyfish are terrifying. That isn’t the actual random fact, although it is a fact. The actual random fact is that Portuguese jellyfish can grow up to a mile long. Can you imagine the type of prey they catch with that kind of war path? A mile long? I mean, that’s over five thousand feet! It’s just insane. No creature on the face of this earth should ever be that long. Ever. It makes me never want to go into the ocean ever again. Regular jellyfish are scary enough. Ones that are a mile long kind of make me think someone has to be making this up.
How many of you would would rather deal with a Portuguese jellyfish over moving? (Take a minute to think about moving supplies in comparison with giant tentacles a mile long. Oh, and the tentacles are electrically charged.) I’m thinking not very many. I’m thinking not very many at all. And the ones that think they would have either never moved or they’ve moved no less than one thousand times, and each time was a nightmare. Or they might be descendants of Apollo or Achilles, in which case a Portuguese jellyfish is nothing compared to the skolopendra.
As for myself, I would rather move every year of my life if it keeps me far away from terrifying nautical creatures. I don’t even really like fish that much, to be honest. Although I do have this really cute memory of swimming in a beach in Guam, that crystal clear water and almost white sand, and there were these adorable little tropical fish, like Nemos and Dories, and they were diving into my feet trying to eat my toes. As my cousin likes to say: totes adorbs. But you know what isn’t totes adorbs? Moving supplies. I’m not gonna lie, as much as I don’t like fish I don’t like piles of boxes and stacks of tape either. I don’t like the smell of permanent marker or the sound of it squeaking on cardboard. And yet, still, moving supplies are always the better option. Sometimes you just have to go with the lesser of two evils. Anything on land is preferable to something out of your element, anyway. It’s like this book I’m reading about World War II bomber crews, and the insane amount of stress that came with their job.
I’ll take good old terra firma, thank you very much.