At some point in the past few years, I started to realize how full of fluff and fake niceties a lot of social events (especially those “celebrating” something) really are. Perhaps I’m a pessimist when it comes to talking about such things, but I’ve either grown jaded to things like birthdays, or I’m just starting to see such events for what they really are.

Don’t get me wrong. Holding birthdays for family members or kids serves its purpose quite well. The problem is that people still expect to be coddled on their birthday into their late 20s, and I just don’t jive with that mentality by any means. At some point or another, you’ve got to realize that a birthday is merely a day we’ve been conditioned to view as super special. And the whole idea of gift giving? That’s a bit extra.

Now, let me take a step back to talk about why I feel so strongly about these things. Honestly, I feel it all starts with the idea that we “owe” someone else a gift on their special day. This is where I have a huge problem, simply because this implies that we shouldn’t treat this person well the other 364 days in the year.

“Oh but I do treat my friends nice throughout the rest of the year!” Do you? If you honestly do, that’s great and how things should be. By all means, still get them a nice gift this year since you guys have a great relationship.

But for those of you who feel like you’re obligated to get a friend a gift or that getting them something will show you care about them… I have news for you: that’s not caring for a friend, and they don’t want your gift if you feel obligated to spend on them.

I mean, really, I just find the whole idea of spending money on certain items and wrapping them up in cardboard boxes to be kind of weird. It’s not something we do in our everyday lives, but if it were, well, then a birthday gift wouldn’t be so special. It would be just another gift. This is pretty much the embodiment of the whole “live everyday like it was your last” mindset. The more we place some special importance on a single day in the year, the less likely we are to treat every day as amazing and special.

So there you have it. I don’t “hate” birthdays. I just find the idea of shelling out money for gifts only to put them in cardboard boxes with a nametag to be overall pretty petty. Why not do this every month for those you love?